Independent Schools Show – Finding the Right School – 12th June 2026
“One Size Does Not Fit All: Finding the Right School for Your Child.”
No one claimed that academic schools, small schools, or London day schools are always the best.The point was simpler than that: different children need different schools. That sounds obvious, but it’s easy to forget amid 11 Plus preparation, school visits, registration deadlines, and parent chatter.
Start with the child, not the school name
Aiden Sparrow-Clemens opened by explaining that one common mistake is that parents get a fixed idea of the school they want before they have really understood what makes each school different.
Many parents start with a name — sometimes it’s a famous school, sometimes it’s where a sibling goes, or just the one everyone else is talking about. But not all schools are trying to do the same thing.
That’s why we shouldn’t ask, “What’s the best school?” Instead, ask: best for whom? Best for which child? Best at what stage of development?
Joanna Wright made a related point about parents’ own school experiences. Some are trying to recreate an education they loved, while others want to avoid one they disliked. Both instincts are understandable — but neither should matter more than the child in front of you. Your child needs their own school experience, not a correction of yours.
“Lucy next door” is not a strategy
Heidi Armstrong joked about parents choosing a school because “Lucy next door” is going there, or because of the “dinner party circuit”.
It got a laugh because it is true.
London school choice can become strangely social. People compare lists. They drop school names into
conversation. They ask where you are applying as if there is a correct answer.
A school might be perfect for one child and completely wrong for another. That does not make the school bad, or the parents wrong. It just means children are different.
Heidi’s wider point was that parents need to know their child and think carefully about where they will be happy. Not happy in the sense of never being challenged, but happy in the sense of feeling they belong.
Talk to the pupils
Lydia Kyle said, “Our students are really our best ambassadors.”
I found that to be one of the most useful comments of the talk.
Adults can explain a school. Pupils show you the school.
Pupils show you how teachers talk to them, whether the atmosphere feels warm or formal, and if students seem proud, bored, anxious, relaxed, over-rehearsed, or genuinely happy.
So when you visit, speak to pupils if you can.
Ask simple questions:
- What do you like here?
- What would you change?
- Are the teachers easy to talk to?
The best answers aren’t always the most polished. I’d rather hear a pupil say, “I love history, the stairs are annoying, and my form tutor is really nice,” than give a perfect speech about ambition and excellence.
Look past the shiny bits
Hero Brown made a good point about looking past impressive facilities.
Some schools look amazing, with new buildings, big theatres, shiny science labs, and beautiful sports centres — it’s hard not to be impressed. But the building is not the education.
A great theatre doesn’t mean every child gets to perform. A beautiful music department doesn’t mean music is a big part of school life. A large sports site doesn’t mean your child will feel included if they’re not on the A team. The better question is: how is it used?
Hero mentioned schools where the buildings aren’t as fancy, but the school has real heart and soul. Sometimes you feel more warmth in a slightly worn corridor than in a very expensive atrium.
Results need context
The panel also talked about academic results, and I was glad they didn’t just focus on league tables.
Lydia Kyle explained the idea of value added: simply put, it measures how much progress pupils make from where they started, not just their final GCSE results. A school that takes in very academic children should get strong results, but that doesn’t mean it’s the right place for every bright child.
Heidi Armstrong put it plainly:
If you’re at a school that’s just taking on the most intelligent, then of course they will get top results.
That doesn’t mean results don’t matter. They do, and parents should look at them — but always in context. A better question is: what happens to a child like mine here?
Aiden Sparrow-Clemens said, Good progress for children comes from really effective pastoral support.
I strongly agree with that. Parents sometimes separate academics and pastoral care, but children don’t work that way.
A child who feels safe, noticed, and understood is usually more willing to try — they raise their hand, bounce back from mistakes, and ask for help sooner. A child who feels invisible or always under pressure might still get good results for a while, but it can take a toll.
That’s especially true for the 11 Plus. Some children aren’t struggling because they can’t do the work — instead, they’re struggling because they’re afraid of making mistakes.
The 11 Plus is only part of the story
Lydia Kyle called the 11 Plus a “snapshot in time”.
That is exactly right. It matters — children should prepare. The exam is competitive, and pretending otherwise helps no one. But it is still just a snapshot: one day, one set of papers, and one child — aged 10 or 11 — probably with slightly sweaty hands. It tells you something, but not everything.
Aiden Sparrow-Clemens also made a distinction I liked: there’s preparation for the 11 Plus exam, and then there’s preparation for an 11 Plus education. That is the bit that can get lost. Preparation should build skill and confidence, not panic.
The question I would ask
There was one practical suggestion from the panel that I thought was excellent.
Ask a school:
“Tell me about a pupil you are really proud of.”
That question gets to the heart of things, because the answer will show you what the school really pays attention to.
Do they only mention the child with top grades, or do they talk about the quiet student who found their voice, the anxious one who joined a club, or the child who wasn’t outstanding at 11 but grew because someone noticed them?
Their answer tells you what the school values, and I would definitely ask it.
What I came away thinking
The fair didn’t make choosing a school feel easy — because it isn’t. But it did make the process feel a bit less frantic.
The trick is not to find the school with the loudest reputation, but to find the school where your child is most likely to grow. That means being honest: not every child needs the most academic school, the smallest school, endless sports, strict structure, or total freedom.